While not every relationship has an expiry date, the heartbreak of a breakup is well-known. If your love connection has reached that point where the spark is lost, the respect is waning and things just aren’t that much fun anymore — it is possible that things might be coming to an end. But what you didn’t see coming was how your partner handled the breakup. They simply thought that ending a 2-year relationship over text was a good idea, and now you are left wondering, how to respond to a breakup text?
At this point, you are juggling the intensity of your own emotions and also the anger of your partner leaving you in this manner. After all that you’ve been through together, you would hope that they would at least have the courtesy to do it in person. As annoyed you may be, people have their reasons for doing things this way.
Breaking up over text is almost like a norm these days. But what exactly does one say when someone breaks up over text? Replying to a breakup text is not easy. Because if you hadn’t seen it coming, then getting ditched over text will make you feel awful. What do you say when you get dumped over text? What is the best way to respond? Let us get right into it.
Why Do People Break Up Over Text?
In today’s day and age, messy and convoluted explanations have become redundant and almost seem exhausting to most people. Let’s face it, breakups come with a whole load of drama that really cannot be everyone’s cup of tea. People just break up over a text message, and some even have the misfortune of being broken up with over Snapchat. Really?
People now break up via WhatsApp, text, email or simply choose to block you from all their social media accounts. The latter is called ghosting, another new concept in the Gen-Z dating world. They will simply stop taking your call and cut you out of their lives in such a way that one is left wondering what really happened. You’ll be shattered while trying to figure out how to reply to a breakup text.
So when a friend shared their dilemma on how to answer a cryptic breakup message, I too wondered how to guide my friend through this difficult period since there was no closure to be had. I mean, what to say when you get dumped over text? After all, talking, discussing or explaining the reason why one wants to move on gives some comfort to the person being left, a sense of closure.
People break up over text these days because it is the easy way out, and that is what makes it so awful. A face-to-face interaction followed by a conversation and a breakup can become a messy affair. The person who is being dumped can ask the “whys” to which there might not be any specific answer, and that is why most people want to just steer clear of the entire emotional toll of breakups.
There isn’t any perfect response to being dumped because it just doesn’t exist. But you can send them a response that would leave them stumped. For instance, if they write, “I am sorry, I can’t go on with this relationship”, you could probably respond with, “Oh! Thank God.”
This might be followed by tears and even hysteria. Not many people have the gumption to deal with such a situation, so just shooting a text is the best option in that case.
But jokes apart, there are ways to respond when there is a breakup text coming your way. You can alternatively try a mature response to break up text, if you want to come off as the bigger person. So, what does one do when there is a vast virtual world before you, and the person who was supposed to love you has cut the cord of communication without telling you why? Do you respond to a breakup text? If yes, how do you respond to a text being dumped?
How To Respond To A Breakup Text
Why do people break up over text? Breaking up over text is the easiest path of self-extraction from a relationship that isn’t working. It is also the most cowardly and spineless way to do it. This is why many people even end up ignoring a breakup text because they don’t want to dignify their ex-partner’s action with a response.
Having said this, we all have friends or friends of friends who have been on the receiving end of such a notorious text that epitomizes the underbelly of relationships. And people usually have no response to a breakup text. What can you even say?! It is awkward, heartbreaking, and infuriating all at the same time.
Here at Bonobology, your question has been heard loud and clear: “Should I respond to a breakup text? And if yes, what do I even say?” This is why, we share with you, 9 ways of dealing with a breakup text.
1. Breathe, nice and slow
How bad is it to break up over text and end things in a flash? Well, let us tell you, your world has not come to a halt even though it feels that way. That ringing in your head is just your brain trying to process the disappointment you are feeling because you had more expectations in the relationship. You need to get in a better headspace before you head into a conversation with your partner. Prepare yourself:
- Relax yourself: Sit on the nearest surface and breathe deeply. Don’t stand and pace around your room and do not call your friends yet
- Be with yourself: Try to have coherent thoughts instead of breaking out into a frenzy. The first and best response to being dumped is maintaining your stability and composure
- Take time to respond: Replying immediately to a breakup text is not a great idea. Calm down first, and then formulate your reply once the reality has sunk in. Think about what you will say but also be open to hearing the other person
2. Take a minute
Read the text again and don’t be immediately reactive. Give your mind a few minutes to stop spinning. Any decision you take now, whether to throw your phone down and stomp on it or text angry words back to the sender, you will regret in hindsight. So, stop, get yourself something sweet to drink or better yet drink a glass of water. Even take a few hours off, if you need to.
It is inevitable you will feel anger, pain, and grief if you had no inkling that a breakup text was coming your way. But what to say when you get dumped over text? You will probably have no response to a breakup text. And that’s okay. Stop stressing over what you should say and focus more on how you feel.
Whatever you say, do not react in anger. Your response should be written when you feel as cool as a cucumber. Yes, getting dumped over text is the worst. But stop yourself from carrying out your knee-jerk reaction.
3. Formulate a sensible text, read it again, edit, re-read
Now that your breathing is almost regular, compose yourself and text back, asking your partner if they are sure of their decision. That is ideally the most mature response to a breakup text. Now read the text you have written. Edit and correct spellings, no abbreviations. Change that ‘u’ into you and ‘n’ into and. Now read it again before sending it. Be as proper and decent as you can be.
If you are writing a long message, then you might need a couple of glances at your draft to make changes. Be compassionate and understanding even when your ex is testing you. However, do kindly let them know how devastated you feel. Even though text seems like a place where one is more in control of what they say, the emotions of a breakup can get the better of you. Calm yourself and regulate your breathing before replying to a breakup text. When you respond to a breakup text after being dumped, keep your dignity, that would define who you are.
4. Do not call them yet
How bad is it to breakup over text? It can be pretty awful because your emotions are too close to the surface, and ready to blow the lid at any point. You will start crying, asking for reasons, be willing to change anything or everything, or you will shout and call them names and all the choicest words in your bag (which I would wholeheartedly agree with, by the way).
- It is important to respect yourself: In the process, you will let go of the dignity you should be holding on to even if by your fingernails. So if you want to keep that, the best thing to do would be not to call immediately. Since there is no response to a breakup text, people go berserk in their reactions and can make the situation worse because of extreme behavior
- Have a high value response to being dumped: As the dumpee, don’t act desperate for them to explain themselves or make it up to you. Hold yourself together and show them that while you are hurt, you will not be moved so easily. Show them that you are ready to let go of your ex. They should feel bad about their actions instead of pitying you
- Control your reaction for your own sanity: Because people don’t know what to say when they get dumped over text, they make rash mistakes like calling instantly. Let the reality sink in, you process your feelings and if need be there is no need to respond to the breakup text immediately. Reply only when you feel like it, and that could be a few hours or a few days later. Fair enough! There’s no hurry here
5. Wait some time to respond and then ask for accountability
And when I say wait… I mean wait for at least half a day before replying to a breakup text. Keep them hanging, because an instant reply reflects desperation. Yes, sometimes the best reply to a breakup text is ignoring a breakup text but only for a few hours.
Then, ask them for a reason. When they do bring up issues, relationship arguments, or concerns, here is the cheat sheet to what you should do.
- Explain yourself earnestly: If you have had a fight or there has been a terrible misunderstanding, and the reason they give is actually fair, then briefly explain yourself. Place a request to talk and explain yourself in a public place. Keep calm, and say you respect their decision, but you would like to put your side forward. They can then make their choice. In any case, do not beg for them to come back
- Accept your mistakes: A relationship never goes wrong because of just one person. So if you have been in the wrong and have made a mistake then accept your mistake. This is no time for ego or one-upmanship. Apologize to them and say you would like to make amends if given a chance, provided you truly want to save the relationship. Explain that you didn’t see it their way and did not intend to cause them any hurt. Tell them you have no response to a breakup text. However, if they still want to break up you would understand
- Don’t lash out: If there is no genuine reason and you think your partner is simply giving up, then just swallow your anger and wait for a day before responding. Text back once you are in control and say you understand their decision and wish them well. Keep your dignity intact at all costs
The most important thing to remember is to not beg them to stay with you. A Reddit user advised another who was going through a breakup, “Seriously though. She tried to dump you through text! Don’t give her the satisfaction of begging her to stay with you. That’s not worth your time. If she doesn’t value you enough to tell you in person, she doesn’t deserve the pleasure of your company. Cancel the meeting, hit the gym, and start anew. Good luck!”
6. What to reply?
What to say when you get dumped over text? You probably have a lot of questions in this area. Like, is it OK to not respond to a breakup text? Should you keep them hanging? Don’t worry, these questions will get resolved soon.
Now when it comes to what exactly you can say, there are several ways you can reply to a breakup text. We have listed down a few suggestions for you.
- Being funny: You can be flippant and say something like, “Sure, is that all? See you,” or something to this effect. It shows you didn’t take this relationship that seriously anyway and are alright with parting ways. If you want to be extra petty, you can even just reply with one word like, ‘Sure’
- Stay composed: You can say you understand their reasons and wish them the best when replying to a breakup text. This is one of the best responses to being dumped. It shows that you want nothing to do with them going forward. Chapter closed
- Showing displeasure at the way it is done: You can say, you expected better or you anticipated such a juvenile reaction from them from the beginning. You are allowed to express your expectations and that you felt you deserved a better way of things being handled
- The benefit of the doubt: If you seek closure and want a reason for the breakup, say as much. Say that you would not want to change their mind but would like to know why at this point they need to break off the relationship. Give them a choice of the meeting as per their convenience to discuss. Or maybe they could tell you the reason over text too
- No response: If you choose not to reply, that too is a reply in itself. Blocking the person from every social media profile or letting them watch you move on in life has its joy. Yes, it is alright to not to respond to a breakup text and end the relationship in that manner
Please remember, if they do decide to meet you, that in no way indicates that they want you to pressure them to keep the relationship going. The minute you press this advantage, you are proving their point that they are better off without you. Go and meet your ex to understand what it was that tipped the scales.
7. Don’t get angry at any cost
This is sacrosanct. Losing your cool, shouting, using foul language, saying hurtful things and threats will prove that what they thought about you all along was true. And it will open a can of worms where only ugly things will be said to each other, and you might never break things off on decent terms.
If you two do argue a lot, they might even make the point that you are a nut case and that they are right to send you a breakup text because had they spoken to you like an adult, you would have embarrassed them. You become the culprit in this manner.
Instead try to put two and two together. Understand all the hints and clues of the impending breakup that you failed to look at earlier. Put the jigsaw puzzle in place and you will be in a better frame of mind. Tell yourself that this is the best thing that could happen to you! In reality, things were falling apart with them and now you can focus on your self-growth. Research suggests that positive emotions can occur following a breakup particularly when the previous relationship did not satisfy one’s emotional growth. Writing and journaling is a great intervention that can help one refocus on positive emotions.
8. Don’t give a volatile reaction
I have found that no reaction is the best reaction when someone is trying to get a reaction out of you. It agitates that person the most because their expectations about you are not met. If you don’t believe us, just ask your parents! The cold war is a term that is used in most households to describe how parents fight.
The more volatile of the partners will shout and the other will go quiet. The next two days are then spent by the partner who shouted trying to get the other person to talk.
You get the drift. Your silence on the issue will make the person wonder if you were affected at all, and how important was the relationship and by extension, he/she to you. Sometimes not saying anything to a breakup text is a good thing, and is a high-value response to being dumped so awfully.
9. Talk to someone
You are brimming with unexpressed feelings. Find a friend, call or visit someone who will listen to you without judgement. Tell them all you want to do is a vent. It takes a village to keep us sane. Don’t hide. Be out and about and meet people whom you trust.
Breakups not only cause an awful lot of stress but can lead to depressive episodes as well. Some people even go into depression for a few months post their breakup because they are unable to cope with it. There is a study that shows that a breakup is considered an important stressful event that increases the risk of developing depression.
This is why, you should try to share feelings that rise to the surface. Everyone is willing to listen if you are mature enough to ask for help. Nothing should be more important than ‘you’ at this time. No one. If your family knows about your relationship, spend time with them. Seek comfort where you are sure you will get it.
Savage Replies To Breakup Texts
Not everyone can always take the high road by adopting the power of silence and there is such a thing as being petty after a breakup. Some people can feel so offended at being left that way, that they really cannot help it but unleash a rude side of themselves to the person who broke their heart. In that case, if you think that saying something snarky is what makes you feel good, we are nobody to judge.
A Reddit user even suggested that there is no need for a long-drawn explanation. It is better to just keep it crisp sometimes. They wrote that this is how they would respond to a breakup text: “I’d just text back ‘I changed my mind about meeting you Sunday. Have a nice life.”
We have all been there. Here are some savage breakup lines to completely stun the person who has dumped you:
- You were my cup of tea, but I guess I drink coffee now
- Alright, see you never
- Bye boy
- Onto the next chapter!
- Sayonara sucker
- Time to finally realize my worth
- Entering my healing era now
- Thank you. I will now choose my and my happiness
- Thanks for ending my suffering
- Oh good! Back to the dating apps
- Lost your spine?
- Was it something I said or something you couldn’t say?
- You finally realized that I deserve so much better
- I got 99 problems and now you won’t be one
- Oh god, thank you! I was tired of pretending
As tempted as you are to use the above lines to hurt them, remember that even if it may feel fun for now to say all this — it is indeed best to follow it up with a mature conversation. You are letting go of someone special to you, and you need some kind of closure. Even if they humiliated you by doing it over text, you can walk away being the bigger person.
