What do women want in a relationship? Answering this question is both, extremely simple yet awfully perplexing, at the same time. To be honest, it’s really not that hard. Just be nice and go out to have fries. That just very well may be all it takes to win someone over. Oh and don’t cheat. And don’t yell. And definitely don’t call her friend fat. Okay, maybe a list is needed.
Let’s talk about the qualities women look for in a lover. Emotional presence, sexual connection, good sense of humor – well, that’s just the tip of the iceberg. It takes a considerable amount of effort and attention to the small things to keep your woman happy in the relationship.
Now that your ten-second attention span has been adequately grabbed and you’re seriously trying to figure out things every girl wants in a guy, let’s get right into it. We guarantee, by the end, you will have a clear answer to “What do you have to offer a woman in a relationship?”
What Do Women Want In A Relationship?
We’ll tell you what women don’t want, they don’t want a text that says, “Sorry I couldn’t reply, just been so busy lately.” Okay Elon, go finish up things at SpaceX and then hit her up. And no, “What are you looking for?” is not the question to be asking a woman with whom you’ve exchanged three texts on a dating app; you definitely won’t be getting a precise answer either.
Of course, every woman wants different things. While some might prefer a more fun and relaxed dynamic that’s edging towards a polyamorous relationship, where they date multiple people at one time. Others may want a strictly monogamous, old-fashioned dynamic. The bottom line is, it’s important that you both are on the same page if you want a lasting relationship.
We suggest, don’t play mind games. The best way to know what your girl wants is to get her some fries and talk to her about it. That being said, the list you see below is a generic collection of things most women desire from their romantic partners. Let’s dive right in before you end up thinking being good in bed is the only way to keep her around.
1. Be nice and respectful
This is it, ladies and gentlemen. The simple answer to the mysterious question that’s been bothering you for days. The first thing to remember as you approach a woman is to be kind and respectful. Nobody wants James Bond or Ryan Gosling (as a boyfriend, we mean). All a woman – or anyone for that matter – wants, is someone who’s not obnoxious.
Speaking on the subject, Dr. Aman Bhonsle previously told Bonobology, “Respect is the foundation of any relationship. Trust and love are equally important, but without mutual respect, there’s no depth to a dynamic.” Think of what you’d want from a partner and be that person. The type of boyfriend a girl wants is the type of person who values her opinion and never tries to belittle or gaslight her. Make sure your dynamic features mutual respect towards each other.
2. Focus on being a good listener
We get it, the hero instinct you have embedded inside of you is kicking you to be her knight in shining armor and solve all her problems in the blink of an eye. But in most times of distress, she’s not really a damsel. She’s a fiercely independent woman who’s ready to take on the world and fight her own fights. Just because she’s ranting about Jansen from work doesn’t mean she wants you to do something about it.
Neither does she want you to quickly make it all about yourself and start telling a similar story. Try to understand how listening can improve your relationship. Of course, she would want you to let her in your life and open up about your own emotions. But the secret behind good communication is that it should go as a decent conversation and not a monologue. So,
- While you’re trying to communicate, make sure you let her talk about her feelings and how she’s dealing with them too
- Don’t be that guy who ends up having a one-sided conversation, regardless of who’s talking to him
- Validate and acknowledge whatever she’s saying, and make her feel heard
- Healthy communication is a critical aspect of any relationship and sometimes it can be as easy as actually listening to whatever she has to say
- Plus, it will make you more empathetic in your relationship, which always helps you two get closer
3. Maintain transparency to make the relationship work
One of the essential qualities that keeps a woman in a relationship for the long term is honesty, as cliched as it may sound. Don’t hide how you’re feeling; nobody here knows how to read minds. When you’re confident enough to let your partner in on your vulnerabilities and open up about yourself, you’re also setting the groundwork for a deeper connection with your partner.
And it’s not just how you feel, being transparent about your life and your actions is the best way to make her feel safe and assured about your intentions with this relationship. Most men make the mistake of hiding things from their partners often to avoid conflicts. Well, if you can create an open, straightforward communication style from the very beginning, it will build trust between you and your girlfriend/wife very organically and that’s exactly what a woman looks for in a man.
4. Maturity is one of the important qualities women want
Want to know what a mature woman wants in a relationship? A mature boyfriend/husband who knows how to be a gentleman. Being mature means you don’t let your emotions get the better of you and always look for positive ways to express the things you’re feeling. This level of emotional intelligence comes when you are self-aware, know your purpose in life, and are confident in your own skin. Here are a few glimpses of what it looks like to be mature in a relationship:
- Don’t lose your cool just because an ex contacted her after two years
- Don’t overreact over the little things and foster a problem-solving attitude
- Definitely don’t get angry when she can’t decide what to wear for date night. It’s not that easy!
- Women want a man who can take charge in certain situations. Try to think rationally in a time of crisis to get you both out of trouble
- Having a strong personality or being the mature one in the relationship doesn’t mean you can’t act goofy together and have a 3-am dance party in the living room in your PJs. You just have to balance both sides
5. Commitment is the one thing that’s non-negotiable
Forget answering “What do women want in a relationship?”, we’ll tell you what they don’t want: “going with the flow”. Once you’re not just dating anymore and things are getting a bit more serious, now is the time to have a conversation about it and give your dynamic a label. After all, who would feel comfortable being in a situationship forever? Do it as soon as possible, we swear it makes things a lot easier.
You know the kind of man every woman wants? Someone who doesn’t toss between two women or multiple women and is morally strong enough to devote his heart and soul to that one special lady. If the only exercise you get is running away from commitment, it’s probably not going to fly. Out of all the things every woman wants in a man, being 100% committed and showing it every single day is right up there.
6. Don’t be clingy
“Oh, you’re going out for a girl’s night? Mind if I join you?” Yes, yes she minds. So do all her friends, who will totally be dissing you in their WhatsApp group chat. Being her boyfriend doesn’t give you a free pass to every aspect, every bit of her life, unless, of course, she likes it that way. You probably have a couple of friends who are angry at you for getting into a relationship and abandoning them. Make those plans and visit your favorite haunt. Remember,
- There is no need to feel threatened if she is asking for space. It doesn’t spell doom for your relationship
- Nobody appreciates a clingy partner and personal space in a relationship is what holds it together
- We all need some space and time after a long day or week to feel good and refreshed, to get in touch with our inner peace, and you have to spare her that room
7. Be her best friend first
What do women want in a relationship? Simple, a best friend who they can spend their entire day just laying next to. Yes, love, respect, commitment – all of it is important for a healthy relationship. But women feel a lot more at home with someone whom they can let in on a piece of gossip and go dress-shopping with.
When you’re best friends with your partner, you achieve a level of intimacy that encourages you both to talk about absolutely everything. This, in turn, will only lead to improved communication and greater satisfaction with your bond. The type of boyfriend a girl wants is someone she can share anything with.
8. Don’t fight dirty
Guess what a wife needs from her husband? To not be treated like the punching bag in a marriage. It holds good for both men and women. Fights are a part of every relationship, and the way you approach conflict resolution speaks volumes about the kind of person you are.
Everybody can act calm and kind and affectionate on a regular day. It’s when there’s a cloud on the horizon that people show their true colors. The way you talk and react in this situation instantly sets you apart from the other douchebags she has dated and you become the ‘good man’. So,
- Repeat after me – no yelling, no name-calling, no losing your cool over trivial things
- And don’t break her expensive china. There’s no coming back from that one
- Take into consideration your partner’s emotions and point of view on the matter instead of just shouting relentlessly
9. Loyalty, the most important of all
Monogamy is a two-way street. When you’ve discussed that you’re both going to be exclusive with each other, it’s important to hold up your end of the promise. When you’re figuring out what a mature woman wants in a relationship, she wants someone who won’t hit on her hot best friend or check out other women in front of her. Once you hurt her self-respect, it will end sooner than you realize.
10. Be sensitive and supportive
Want to know what a woman wants in a man physically? No, not six-pack abs or massive biceps. She wants someone who’s physically there to support her. That’s it. The world can often be cruel to women. Don’t brush off the unfair treatment and discrimination she goes through. Being emotionally available for her is what keeps a woman in a relationship.
- Be supportive, acknowledge, and validate her struggles
- Make sure you are empathetic and respectful when she talks about the issues she has faced due to sexism
- Be sensitive toward any mental health issue or insecurity she has
- Let her know that you believe in her dreams and career goals and stand by her side through thick and thin
- If the situation arises, take her side in an argument, be it with either of your families, friends, or some stranger. Defend her honor
- Taking care of the simple things like picking up her parents from the airport or cooking dinner when you know she had a bad day reflects pure affection and that’s the kind of man every woman wants
11. Don’t make everything about sex
What do you have to offer a woman in a relationship? In case you answer ‘good sex’, we got a lot of work to do. Sexual chemistry is just one of the many criteria to make a woman happy in a relationship. If you do her a favor and expect to be rewarded with sex, you’re better off not doing her the favor. Just because you took her car to the shop doesn’t mean she has to do that thing you like in bed.
Do things for her out of the kindness of your heart, not to keep score or if you’re expecting sex in return. When you’re trying to answer “What does a woman look for in a relationship?” know that she’s definitely not looking for someone who’s going to make her feel like she owes sex to that person.
12. But also make sure the sex isn’t boring
Just like men, some women have a high libido, some don’t. Some are asexual, some aren’t. Some consider sex very important, some don’t. But if yours is a dynamic that frequently has sexual intercourse, make sure you are not repeating the same things, but are on an exploratory journey.
So, what does a woman want in a man physically? Someone who will take her satisfaction into account in bed instead of solely focusing on their own needs. Being obsessed with finishing the race first and laying down next to her breathless for ten minutes isn’t exactly the best thing for your physical relationship.
13. Make it a partnership of two equals
Forget all about the ‘men bring home the bacon, women fry it in the kitchen’ scenario from the 1950s. Get rid of all your traditional gender role biases if you have any. Answering “What do women want in a relationship?” also ends up being a study of what they don’t want, and they do NOT want you to pay for every single thing they purchase. Take note:
- No, you shouldn’t expect her to cook
- She doesn’t expect you to pay all the bills
- She doesn’t need your ‘protection’
- You work as a team and work with what you’re good at, not at what society has told you that you must do
- If you cook better and she handles the finances like a pro, you know how you should roll
- Here’s a secret tip for a happy wife/girlfriend: definitely split the household chores if you are living together
14. Make her feel special
One of the down to earth qualities that men often fall short of is to make their girl feel special and important. Granted, a relationship should feel like a well-oiled machine and you shouldn’t rely on surprises and gifts to keep things afloat, but kind gestures never hurt anybody. When you’re trying to answer the question, “What do women want in a relationship?”, they’re definitely looking for some of those cute surprises and romantic gestures we all see in the movies.
That being said, you don’t always have to go for the big things and drop diamond rings on every occasion. Even spending quality time together counts as a gesture of love. Work on yourself, be respectful toward her friends and family, value her time, and be a reliable person. When a woman feels needed and loved, she will return the affection to an even greater extent.
15. Be open to new experiences
Sure, you may like to spend your Saturdays watching the game with your friends while drinking beer but try to keep an open mind about trying out new things. That new French restaurant that your partner wants to try can’t be as bad as you’ve imagined it to be. Being fun, spontaneous, and exciting are things every girl wants in a guy.
Spending a Sunday curled up next to each other while watching Netflix sure is fun, but so is trying out that rock climbing place. Spice things up with an at-home date night, or go out thrill-seeking. Whatever you do, at least you’ll get a few new Instagram pictures together.
16. Take responsibility for your actions
It doesn’t matter what your actions may have been, make sure you don’t run away from taking responsibility. No, your past relationship wasn’t toxic solely because of your ‘crazy ex’. Have you ever thought you might be the problem too and you never even bothered to admit your faulty ways or apologize to them?
In a marriage too, what a wife needs from her husband is for him to take responsibility for the mistakes they may have made. Especially when they are trying to rebuild trust in the relationship, owning up to whatever they might have done wrong is vital. Just so you know, accountability comes spontaneously to a high-value, confident man. So, no mind games. Just walk up to her and admit, “Rachel, I am sorry I got your car dented. I will get it fixed.”
17. Nothing beats a good sense of humor in a man
Studies show that when a man attempts to humor a woman and she gives him a burst of responsive laughter, it indicates her romantic interest in him. Indeed, sense of humor always makes the top five of women’s criteria list of what they look for in a man. It’s like a breath of fresh air when the man of their affection makes them laugh every now and then.
We are not suggesting you always have to be up on your toes to get a chuckle out of her. But you may want to work a bit on some funny gestures, telling her jokes, or sending her memes she might like. Going that extra mile will work in your favor when it comes to attracting women.
18. Appreciate her
“What a woman looks for in a man?” – well, unlike the popular opinion, a happy woman isn’t a myth. It just takes the right man to enter her life and make her feel protected, appreciated, and confident. There are certain aspects of your wife’s character and potential that sure deserve a round of applause.
And, as the spouse, it’s your responsibility to remind her how her smile makes this world a better place. Compliment her on that special soup she makes that can cure any sickness. Express your admiration of how proud you are of her new job. Trust us, she will fall for you a bit more every day.
19. Build a safe nest for your girl
Only when a woman feels safe around you will she flourish in the relationship and give you her heart and soul. And trust is the most essential component for both partners to be comfortable with each other mentally and physically. Make her realize how you can be a safe abode where there are absolutely no threats of abuse, blackmailing, or any such thing that might hold her back from completely investing in the relationship. May your words speak the truth and actions execute the same and you will be the ideal husband/boyfriend for the woman of your dreams.
Key Pointers
- A woman wants a partner who would be kind, respectful, and emotionally available for her
- Good communication, being a good listener to be more specific, is important to keep a woman happy in a relationship
- Label the relationship once you are past the initial dating phase and stay loyal if you have made a commitment
- Give her compliments, try small romantic gestures to make her feel special
- A woman needs a man who would respect her boundaries and give her personal space to grow as an individual
So there you have it, the things every woman wants in a man, listed out for you. Seems daunting? Here’s a pro tip: instead of spending hours pondering over “What do women want in a relationship?”, just go and ask your partner what she wants. Oh, and make sure you follow points 2, 3, & 4 while you do so.
