It’s officially cuffing season again, that time of year when folks tend to couple up for cozy, winter cuddles (among other activities). And some may take the season’s name quite literally. That is, consensually using basic BDSM accessories for cuffing season can be helpful for facilitating sexual exploration or simply spicing up your sexual experiences. And no matter whether you’re a curious beginner to BDSM or you’re already well-versed in the kink accessories game, incorporating these products in your cuffing-season sex sessions can be an accessible and pleasure-rich experience for everyone involved.
According to Carol Queen, PhD, a sexologist with pleasure-product company Good Vibrations, the connection some folks may make between cuffing season and BDSM accessories totally makes sense. “I can’t get bondage out of my mind when I read it,” she says, referring to cuffing season. But before anyone engages in BDSM activities, she suggests everyone agrees to a safe word and negotiates what is on and off the table. “BDSM is based on negotiation [that requires you] knowing, expressing, and respecting boundaries,” she adds.
After you’ve set those ground rules (you may want to take an online BDSM test to see if you’re interested in BDSM), Dr. Queen is all for this form of sexploration. Ahead, find eight basic types of BDSM accessories that’ll take your cuffing season sexcapades to a new level. (And remember, we all have different sexual interests, so focus on what calls out to you.)
- Carol Queen, PhD, sexologist at Good Vibrations
8 basic BDSM accessories for cuffing season
1. Blindfolds
“Removing the sense of sight is a power play, and it makes the other senses more acute,” says Dr. Queen, adding that if you have to choose just one BDSM accessory, you should make it a blindfold.
2. Cuffs
It is cuffing season, after all. “Starter bondage gear needs to be adjustable—bonus points if padded. Wide-padded cuffs are perfect to explore. Do not go for narrow, tight gear like zip ties,” says Dr. Queen.
3. Bondage tape
It’s crucial that bondage tape and collars are loose enough to protect against the risk of nerve damage and strangulation, says Dr. Queen, who cautions around using these accessories around joints or in any way that impedes breathing. This is also a great use for expressing a safe word.
4. Collars
According to Dr. Queen, collars can provide a lot of thrill because when the collar goes on, it signifies that your partner is in control of you (or perhaps the other way around) until it comes off.
5. Clamps
“Clamps can bring nipple play to a new level, and many people really enjoy the bite of pain on an erogenous area,” says Dr. Queen. “The clamps can pinch the nipple itself or be positioned right behind it on the areola, which will feel a little less intense.” She adds that common areas to clamp include the clitoris, foreskin, or on pinches of skin throughout the body.
6. Over-the-door and over-the-bed bondage gear
“You can explore hands-over-head bondage positions with an over-the-door bondage set—you just need to make sure the door is pretty sturdy,” says Dr. Queen. “Bondage on the bed is a perfect kinky addition to partnered sex of any kind and is one of the things that many new-to-kink people have already fantasized about or just explored with a partner holding the other’s hands over their head,” she adds.
7. Spanker
“Impact toys like crops, whips, and canes are more advanced,” says Dr. Queen, adding that spankers are geared more toward beginners “because the surface area spreads out the sensation.” (Dr. Queen says to be sure not to “strike joints or over the kidneys.”)
8. Flogger
Similar to a spanker, the flogger is an impact toy that “consists of a handle with tails, and feels quite different than spanking,” Dr. Queen says. “In addition to striking the butt—a classic place to strike, and close to the genitals so it’s especially liable to feel erotic—flogging is a popular form of play on the upper back, too,” adds Dr. Queen.
