How beautiful would life be if we were all blessed with harmonious relationships! You know the kind that is selfless, nurturing and giving. Where there is no tussle of egos and power play. Just you and the other person fitting in like a hand in a glove.
Unfortunately, not many of us can stake our claim to being a harmonious person. When harmony isn’t an inherent trait, it is difficult to build relationships that flow seamlessly, like a river rushing to the sea. As a result, we find ourselves caught in a string of relationships that are conflicted, stale, troubled or toxic.
Thankfully, there are ways to let go of this negativity and build holistic, harmonious relationships. But that requires change, and to be able to brace yourself for that change, you need to first understand why are harmonious relationships important.
Once you understand the importance of harmonious relationships you would want to build and maintain a harmonious relationship. But how to have a harmonious relationship? Let us tell you.
What Is A Harmonious Relationship?
Harmonious is defined as “things that go well together or people that get along well.” A harmonious person is someone who is easygoing and has an innate ability to get along well with others. In the context of relationships, it can be described as a bond between two people where there are rarely any recurring fights, clashes or ego tussles.
As human beings, a need for building connections with others is one of our primal needs. Something that we long and hunger for. Food for our soul, if you will. These connections can be described as harmonious when they inspire us, make us feel alive and yet at peace, and drive us to connect on a deeper, spiritual level.
When you’re involved in a harmonious relationship, meaning, you’ve found someone you can connect effortlessly with, everything else will fall into place. To be able to tell if you’re in one or not, think about if you and this person have chronic conflicts, or if there’s something that you two just can’t look past. If you’re truly in a relationship that fulfills your emotional needs like no other, there won’t be any petty differences you’ll actively avoid talking about.
Why are harmonious relationships important to us? For the simple reason that they are the driving force behind a balanced and healthy life.
1. Be the best version of yourself
While it’s true that it takes two to tango, building a good relationship has also got a lot to do with your state of mind. If you get into a relationship looking for a partner to compensate for a certain emptiness, you’re bound to be met with disappointment.
This disappointment can then channelize into challenges and difficulties in your relationship too. The key to feeling peaceful in a relationship is to be at peace with yourself first. So, the work to build harmonious relationships begins with oneself.
When looking to answer how to build or maintain a harmonious relationship with others, you must look inward first. You can imagine how rough things will be if your idea of communicating your feelings is by giving your partner the silent treatment. Needless to say, understanding how to go about things and dealing with irrational emotions you may have is the most important thing you can do.
You have to be the bearer of harmony that you wish to cultivate in your relationship. Don’t place the onus of it on your partner. Instead, make your relationship a peaceful, harmonious panacea by fixing what’s broken at your end.
3. Let go of pent up hurt and negativity
Sometimes the inability to build harmonious relationships can be attributed to the baggage of the past. Perhaps your partner did something that has hurt you immensely. However, instead of processing this hurt and finding a way to heal, you decided to bottle up and move on.
Let’s say, your partner cheated on you once. You chose to give them another chance and stay on but could never really forgive them. It is only natural that the anger, resentment or hurt you’re holding inside will manifest in some form of negativity. Why do humans find it difficult to build harmonious relationships? When you still have pent-up anger from something that happened three years ago, you already have your answer.
Maybe you’ve become distant or have trouble being intimate with your partner. Perhaps, you can’t help but drop snide remarks now and then. In such a situation, no harmony in a relationship is a given. You have to find a way to process and let go of your hurt to be able to foster harmony in your relationship.
5. Free yourself from stringent expectations
The unsaid standard of things you want your partner to do in the relationship can take a toll on your equation as a couple, if not kept in check. While it is natural to expect some things of your partner, these expectations must not be set in stone. Simply because unmet expectations are a breeding ground for disappointment, hurt and anger. You end up saying hurtful things when your expectations are not met.
Instead of holding your partner to the standards of your expectations, allow them to be their own person and appreciate what they bring to the relationship. For instance, let’s say you expect your partner to plan an exotic candlelight dinner or buy you an exotic gift for your anniversary. But instead, they book an overnight stay at a quaint BnB.
Instead of sulking over things not panning out a certain way, try to enjoy the setting you’re in. Appreciate the effort they have made even if it is not what you expected. By letting go of your expectations, you create space for new experiences. That can give you a newfound appreciation for your SO and your relationship.
6. Give and seek space in your relationship
Personal space is one of the most underrated elements of feeling peaceful in a relationship. Often couples get so caught up in the ecstasy of having found one another that they tend to become tethered together at all times. It’s like you’re living in a permanent embrace.
While that can seem exciting and comforting at first, soon this together-forever approach can leave either one or both of you feeling suffocated. Every individual needs their own space to catch a breather, reflect, unwind, rejuvenate and grow. This need does not in any way reflect a problem in your relationship.
On the contrary, personal space between couples is the hallmark of a healthy bond. To build harmonious relationships, you must dismantle that joint-at-the-hip approach to couple dynamics. Tagging along for the girls night out because you didn’t want to be alone will just end up making the girls plan their next few outings in secret. Just find something good to watch or hit up your own friends.
7. Prioritize honest communication
Clear and honest communication is a prerequisite to building harmonious relationships, as it facilitates better understanding. Communication doesn’t just pertain to your choice of words. Your tone, expressions and body language also play a vital role in dressing up a message.
You may not have any ill intent and your words may well reflect that, but if the tone you speak in makes your partner feel threatened, you might have a hard time explaining how you meant no harm. How you build or maintain a harmonious relationship with others is all about how well you can communicate with the people around you.
You must learn, as a couple, to communicate in a manner that your words don’t get misconstrued, leading to misunderstandings and arguments. The idea of honest and clear communication is not to seek a 100% agreement on everything. But to understand each other’s perspectives and learn to accept them even when you don’t agree with them.
8. Shun ego to build harmonious relationships
Where ego exists, harmony simply cannot. Ego clashes are the root cause of so many relationship problems and conflicts. Be it giving your partner the silent treatment or withholding sex as a way of punishing them, the inability to accept your mistakes or stubbornness to always do things your way – all of these are manifestations of ego.
As you can see, these are not components of a healthy relationship. By removing ego from your relationship dynamics, you allow yourself to be more flexible and accommodating. For anyone who’s been wondering how to have a harmonious relationship, this can be a solid starting point.
9. Ditch the blame game too
It is a lot easier to blame another person for all your problems rather than look within and explore how your shortcomings or flaws may be contributing to a situation. However, accepting blame is not nearly half as easy. When you criticize or blame your partner for your relationship problems, you inevitably open the door for discord.
They’re bound to give it back by placing the blame on you. And you’re caught in a vicious cycle of blame-shifting. So, break free from this tendency with some introspection. Ask yourself, ‘why am I triggered by this?’ rather than ‘why did he/she do this?’
A harmonious relationship needs sustained effort and nurturing. You can neither infuse harmony into relationships overnight nor can you expect that once achieved it’ll last forever. But the importance of building harmonious relationships lies in the fact that it brings peace and hope, it is every bit worth the effort.
