So, you’ve reached that point in your life where it is expected that you’ll take the leap into ‘settling down’. Perhaps, all there are factors nudging you toward that next step too. You have a stable career, a significant other who loves you, parents are eager to see you embark on the next chapter of your life. But you feel you are not ready for marriage. If the dilemma of ‘to wed or not to wed’ doesn’t seem to pass, you need to reflect on whether or not to go ahead with that decision.
10 Signs You Are Not Ready For Marriage
Mental health therapist Gopa Khan says rushing marriage when a person is not ready can be influenced by a combination of factors such as family pressure, age factor, lack of compatibility with primary family members, insecurities and unpleasant experiences from past relationships.
3. You’re not over your past
So, there was that one person in your past you were head over heels in love with and saw a future together, but unfortunately, things didn’t pan out as expected. If the hurt from that heartbreak still keeps you up at night, it is one of the signs not ready for marriage.
4. Marriage is an item on your to-do list
You may have a long-term partner but you’re with them more for practical reasons than out of love. When you are torn between ‘not sure if I want to get married’ and ‘it has to be done, might as well get it over with’, you’re considering this life-long commitment for all the wrong reasons and that means you’re not ready for marriage.
5. You rushed into saying yes
You found someone who swept you off your feet and things progressed rather quickly. They popped the question and in the heady rush of romance, you said yes. But you both don’t know much about each other – your quirks, annoying habits, flaws, fears and apprehension still remain an enigma. You may be engaged but not ready for marriage.
6. You’re doing it to get back at an ex
You went through a breakup recently and somehow figured that getting married will be the best way to let your ex know that you’re over them. This is the most twisted way of getting back at someone for breaking your heart, and you risk jeopardising two – if not three – lives in the process. Besides, the person you plan on getting married to will suffer the consequences of your choices for no fault of theirs. If you remain hungover your ex, you’ll never be true to your marriage.
How Do You Convince Your Parents You Are Not Ready For Marriage?
Convincing your parents that you are not ready for marriage can prove to be your Waterloo. From ‘The independence we have given you has gone to your head’ to ‘What’s there to be ready for? You get married, you’ll learn to handle it too’, ‘What will people say!’, ‘How will live your life alone’, all sorts of rhetorics will be thrown your way, along with tears and temper. Here’s what you can do to try and convince your parents you are not ready for marriage:
- Make them see that marriage is not a necessity for survival. Times are changing and a lot of young people today prefer to be on their own and do just fine. Cite examples, if any.
- Tell them that you’re not averse to the idea of marriage but are not ready for it yet. When the time comes, you’ll let them know.
- Without hurting their feelings, tell them that ultimately the right to take such an important decision of your life must rest on you.
- Discuss career and future plans and make them see where marriage fits in your scheme of thing. This might help reassure them a little.
- Hear their perspective without getting agitated, and counter it with your own.
- Give them a realistic time of when you’d be ready for marriage.
Why Shouldn’t You Rush Your Marriage?
Rushing marriage is never a good idea. If you’re ready for a commitment of this nature, it will take a toll on the quality of your relationship with your spouse. Besides, research shows that knowing one’s partner well and being sure about the decision to share a life together can reduce your risk of divorce by 50 per cent.
It is better to wait for the right person to come along at the right time in your life than be in an unhappy marriage or an unsuccessful one. Our expert believes pre-marital counselling is crucial for anyone contemplating marriage but unsure about their decision.
