17 Obscure Psychological Facts About Soulmates

In the storybook of life, there’s a chapter that mystifies us all—the theories about soulmates. It’s like a cosmic romance, where two souls are meant to connect in a way that transcends comprehension. But what really makes someone a soulmate? Should you believe in love is decided by fate? Is it destiny or chance? And what happens when soulmates are apart? Throughout history, tales have been spun about souls finding each other against all odds.

It leaves us wondering: Are these connections predetermined or just fortunate encounters? Does the one even exist? Are there any scientific and psychological facts about soulmates? Do they complete us, fitting like missing pieces in our lives? What is the actual truth about soulmates? Sure, it sounds good on paper, but what does psychology say about the existence of soulmates? Let’s explore some psychological facts about soulmates to find out. But before that let’s get a general understanding of the subject.

What Are Soulmates?

“A soulmate is an ongoing connection with another individual that the soul picks up again in various times and places over lifetimes.” — Edgar Cayce

That does sound quite mystic, right? Who wouldn’t want soulmate relationships that are so complete that they go beyond the realm of any connection we know? Simply put, it’s a special bond where two individuals deeply connect on an emotional, mental, and spiritual level. Here are a few general characteristics of the soulmates theory that make this connection unique:

• Deep soul connection: They have an intense and profound bond that feels natural and effortless
• Understanding and empathy: Soulmates understand each other’s feelings, thoughts, and perspectives, often without needing to say a word. They empathize deeply and support each other unconditionally
• Similar values and beliefs: They are often on the same page, share common values, beliefs, and life goals, which strengthens their connection and compatibility
• Mutual respect: Soulmates have a high level of respect for each other. They value each other’s opinions, boundaries, and individuality
• Complementarity: While they may not be identical, they complement each other’s strengths and weaknesses, filling in gaps and supporting growth
• Comfort and trust: There’s a strong sense of trust and comfort between soulmates, allowing them to be their true selves without fear of judgment or rejection
• Unconditional love: They have a deep, genuine, and unconditional love for each other, supporting one another through life’s ups and downs

What Does Psychology Say About Soulmates?

The word ‘soulmate’ can mean several different things to different people. Some would call their partner their soulmate, while for others, it could be their set of friends or pets. Can people have multiple soulmate relationships or just one in a lifetime? What happens when you can’t be with your soulmate? The rules are unknown for the theories about soulmates.

Psychologist Nandita Rambhia, who specializes in CBT, REBT, and couple’s counseling, explains, “Soulmates as a concept is more popular in philosophy. In psychology, the term compatibility is more often used and people who have a strong connection beyond just romantic love are said to be compatible.

“The psychology behind the soulmate concept is that most people believe in it. It makes people feel loved, secure and wanted. We embrace ideas like soulmates because it implies that we don’t have to be lonely in our journey.”

Related Reading: Recognizing Soulmate Energy- 15 Signs To Watch Out For

Here’s what other psychologists have said regarding psychological facts about soulmates:

“The concept of finding your soulmate has ruined some marriages,” Psychologist  Barton Goldsmith, Ph.D., writes in his book, The Happy Couple.“Sometimes I see couples who consider themselves soulmates. When they realize they have differences, this can be very hard to digest and they run into problems,” says Cate Campbell, a sex and relationship therapist and a member of the British Association for Counselling and Psychotherapy.

“During the honeymoon phase, small disagreements are often obscured by oxytocin, the love hormone that helps us bond and reproduce. Once we commit to each other or have a baby, this starts to wear off. That’s where small problems can start to escalate”, she adds.

What Do Netizens Think About Soulmates?

Writers and artists have celebrated and eulogized the spiritual connection and soulmate relationships through their work. Emery Allen said, “I feel like a part of my soul has loved you since the beginning of everything. Maybe we’re from the same star.” A famous dialogue from an iconic show, Sex and the City, by Candace Bushnell, goes, “Maybe our girlfriends are our soulmates and guys are just people to have fun with.”

While this notion has been traditionally romanticized to a great extent, what does the present-day generation of digital natives think about the concept of soulmates? Is there any proof about how many soulmates in the world have found each other? Here is a sneak peek:

Related Reading: 13 Incredible Things That Happen When You Meet Your Soulmate

A Reddit user shares, “Best story I can offer is my parents, who’ve been together 40 years. They met on their first day of university, in the same course, when my mum fell down a flight of stairs and my dad caught her.”

While another Reddit user says, “I don’t think soulmates exist in the predetermined but I like to think that two people can “become” soulmates with enough commitment and love.”

Yet another user says, “I think there are different kinds of soulmates for different seasons in your life. I think it extends beyond the typical romantic soulmate.”

One more user on Reddit shares their take on soulmates, “When you find them, it’s like fireworks. You feel like you’ve always known them, and like you can’t live without them.”

Lastly, someone else explains, “I feel like everyone has several soulmates or soul connections and it doesn’t have to be romantic.”

While it is absurd to think that soulmates and psychology have something in common, you may be surprised to know that studies do exist on the topic. Let’s dive into the research on random facts to find if there’s any truth about soulmates.

17 Lesser-Known Psychological Facts About Soulmates

Rumi said, “My soul and yours are the same. You appear in me, I appear in you. We hide in each other.”

“People think a soulmate is your perfect fit, and that’s what everyone wants. But a true soulmate is a mirror, the person who shows you everything that is holding you back, the person who brings you to your attention so you can change your life.” — Elizabeth Gilbert, Eat, Pray, Love

Seeing all the different signs you’ve found the one, you can call your soulmate. We all hope to meet people whom we can love as much as we could love a soulmate. How many soulmates in the world find each other? Some people believe in them, while others hope to become their partner’s soulmates over the course of a relationship. Irrespective of where you stand on the belief system surrounding soulmates, read ahead to decide whether there is any merit to soulmate relationships.

These random facts about soulmates will leave you questioning your beliefs about the one true flame and what conspires when you meet your true match. Here are 13 science-backed facts about soulmates:

1. Soulmates have differences

We have seen the “my soulmate is mine only for the rest of our lives” notion all too often on screen. That’s why the psychological facts about soulmates hit hard! “Framing love as perfect unity can hurt relationship satisfaction” concludes a research study published in the Journal of Experimental Social Psychology.

Conflicts are bound to happen in any relationship even without unrealistic expectations. A person who believes their partner was made for them will take each fight hard, will question if their partner is their soulmate, their entire relationship, and may then lose faith in the notion of love and happily-ever-after. So, should you believe in love? As long as you’re willing to be real with yourself, yes.

2. They occur more often as friendships than romantic relationships

It’s not just about romantic partners! Soulmates tend to go beyond love relationships or being romantic life partners. They’re like a chosen family—supportive, loving, and there for you. Think beyond romance; your soulmate could be anyone: best friends, a sibling, a teacher, or even your parents. They’re the ones who help you grow and evolve, showering you with unconditional care and support. Not just humans, penguin soulmate connections also exist!

Remember, soulmate connections aren’t always about having one soulmate. They’re about a deep connection that nurtures your soul, and they can exist in various relationships, not just romantic ones.

3. Soulmates may not be found but can be made

Psychology encourages the process of creating a beautiful relationship for both partners. It won’t be perfect, and there will still be tough times, but the faith partners have in each other gives them the strength to believe they will get through things, and their relationship will thrive. When you are in tune with your intuition you might notice there are many signs your soulmate is thinking of you. 

A study published in the National Library of Medicine articulates how creating happy fulfilling relationships is a mix of optimum responsiveness, interpersonal goals, and compassion between partners. Working for the relationship as well as the belief of knowing your partner is your soulmate makes for a better-married life because who doesn’t want to spend the rest of their life with their soulmate?!

4. Such connections make you feel positive

When you’re with your soulmate, you’ll likely experience numerous moments filled with genuine happiness and joy. But it’s not just about the good times; your soulmate stands by you during tough times too. Having someone who supports and understands you through challenges can greatly impact your overall positivity and resilience. Although, it doesn’t mean you should rely on your soulmate entirely for your personal growth.

A study says, “Relationships seem to contribute to wellbeing by sharing positive moments and events.” Many such studies have indicated that individuals in healthy, supportive relationships tend to exhibit more positive emotions, increased life satisfaction, and better mental health. No one supports you as your soulmate does.

5. A soulmate connection may mimic an addiction

Dopamine is released in the body when you fall in love or make an intense emotional connection. It activates the same parts of the brain as addiction, making us want to experience the same feel-good emotions repeatedly.

The Indian Journal of Endocrinology and Metabolism cites, “Love and addictions are somewhat interconnected, the one key difference is that naturally rewarding activities such as love are controlled by feedback mechanisms that activate aversive centers, which limit the destructive qualities of addiction seen with drugs. Love activates specific regions in the reward system. The effects include a reduction in emotional judgment and reduced fear and also reduced depression and enhanced mood.”

6. Men believe in soulmates more than women

One of the most shocking yet random facts about soulmate relationships. A Marist poll shows that men (74%) are more likely to believe in the soulmates theory than women (71%). Turns out, men may be, after all, the hopeless romantics pining for their happily ever after. This statistic challenges traditional notions and underscores the complexity of human beliefs and attitudes toward relationships. It highlights that the strong belief in soulmates is not strictly confined to one gender but varies among individuals, contributing to the diversity of perspectives on love and partnership.

7. You may have a soulmate connection with multiple people

Did you know that a soulmate connection isn’t always romantic? It is a spiritual connection more than anything else. It can come into your life in different forms. Soul partners know and understand each other deeply, and continue to be a support system for one another. Someone with whom you feel a deep, intimate connection. Your gut can just tell by the signs your soulmate is thinking of you. This specific person can be a romantic partner or a sibling, a friend, a business associate, or even a coworker. There are different types of soulmates and diverse kinds of connections they bring into your life.

A study conducted in 2021 researched the different phenomena associated with soulmate experiences. Among the 140 respondents who had met a soulmate; 39 had met several, 37 had married their soulmate, 39 had unmarried romantic relations, 14 were close friends, 9 described their children as soulmates, 5 were soulmates with their dog or cat, and a few described other family members or acquaintances as soulmates.

8. Soulmates meet in their darkest hours

Soulmates tend to find each other during tough times. It’s like a cosmic connection that brings them together when they’re facing their darkest moments. Imagine you’re going through a tough period, and you finally meet someone who seems to resonate with you on a deeper level. It’s possible that they’re experiencing similar challenges. This meeting might happen for a reason—to support each other through these difficult times.

Psychological studies on relationships and life events suggest that shared adversity can create strong emotional bonds between individuals. When people encounter challenges together, it can deepen their special connection and sense of understanding. One such study states, “Pain may actually have positive social consequences, acting as a sort of ‘social glue’ that fosters cohesion and solidarity within groups.”

9. A majority of people believe in soulmates

A statistical but one of the most believable psychological facts about soulmates is that the same Marist poll states that nearly 3 in 4 four residents, or 73% of people, in the United States believe in soulmates, while 27% do not. More Americans have caught the love bug. In their August survey, 66% reported they believed two people are meant to be together compared with 34% who did not. If you’ve ever wondered if your partner’s your soulmate or not, you’re not alone. There are certain signs to keep in check to figure out if your significant other is yours forever.

10. They experience a feeling of déjà vu

When soulmates meet, something peculiar often happens—they feel an intense connection, like they’ve met before. It’s like a strong sense of déjà vu, as if they already know each other deeply from a past life. Some believe this sensation of familiarity could stem from memories of past lives or past relationships.

Psychological studies on memory and recognition, like those conducted by researchers in the field of parapsychology or exploring reincarnation, have delved into these phenomena. While scientific evidence might not explicitly confirm past-life memories, the feeling of déjà vu upon meeting a soulmate remains a fascinating aspect of human connection. This sense of knowing someone intimately upon first meeting them continues to intrigue and puzzle researchers and individuals alike.

11. The younger generation may believe in soulmates but on their terms

While so many youngsters may believe in the idea of a soulmate, they don’t get into relationships just for the sake of being with someone, according to a study published in Science Direct. “A historical survey of paradigm shifts over centuries shows the discourse of romantic love is embedded in the individualistic assumptions of capitalism.”

The newer discourses of relationships require connectedness, communication, mutuality, cooperation, and responsibility instead of just an instant connection. While the number of people believing in soulmates may be on the rise, the next generation of believers is quite logical and emotionally adept, they want much more than grand gestures and false promises of a soulmate trap. An interesting psychological fact applies here that the younger generation demands a healthy love story with their soulmate.

12. As you grow older, belief in soulmates goes down

Maybe not every one of us will find soulmates. Yet another one of those random facts about soulmates or is it the truth? What if you’re one of the people who haven’t found their soulmate? What should happen when you can’t be with your soulmate? Marist poll also found out that 80% of those under the age of 30 and 78% of those between 30 and 44 years believe in the idea of soulmates. In comparison, 72% of respondents in the 45 to 59 age group and 65% of those above 60 did not believe in the notion. We’ve all heard of people being together for a long time and ending up resembling each other, we have learned that this is a sign of a happy married life, or is it?

13. Soulmates might just be a bad idea

A belief in a soulmate may seem harmless but if taken into a deeper, idealistic format, it can translate into disaster. Staying in a relationship that is harming your physical, mental, emotional security or spiritual self just because you believe your partner is your soulmate for all your life is not okay. If you’re looking for the universe’s signs that the love of your life’s coming, you’re not the only one!

We continue into the soulmate story and don’t question it, where there are red flags, we see familiar love instead of the soulmate trap. A person too bent down on the idea of the only soulmate might end up experiencing a toxic relationship and may not be able to leave.

14. Soulmates aren’t a match made in heaven

Contrary to popular belief, when soulmates meet, it may not be your “other half” sent from the heavens above. A study published by the University of Toronto states, “Our findings corroborate prior research showing that people who implicitly think of relationships as perfect unity between soulmates have worse relationships than people who think of their relationships as a journey of growing and working things out.”

Related Reading: Cosmic Connection — You Don’t Meet These 9 People By Accident

15. Soulmate connection is driven by intuition and energy

Whether you believe that your soul is connected to someone else or not, there’s no denying that sometimes you can feel very close to someone, which leads to believing that the uncanny coincidences must mean something more. Sure, love releases dopamine, but intuition, energy, instant connection, and your gut play a huge role here. What happens when soulmates are apart? Watch the signs, your soulmate may be your best friend you’ve known for years or the coworker you were just introduced to.

16. You have to open yourself to the possibility of a soulmate

According to Dr. Michael Tobin, who is a family and marital psychologist with over 40 years of experience, you can potentially find your soulmate.

“Everything in life is about timing. I believe it’s a matter of self-knowledge. When you understand that a relationship is not about control or the simple need for fulfillment but is essential to our psychological and spiritual development, then you’re open to the possibility of meeting your soulmate.” You might just have to be more open and forthcoming to find your soulmate.

17. Soulmates may share extraordinary, extreme experiences of love

In a 2021 study on soulmate experiences, Sundberg interviewed 25 individuals who had extreme experiences of falling in love. His respondents characterize encounters as unique and far beyond normal romantic relationships. Respondents reported immediate mutual bonding and secure attachment and developed a deep connection on many levels after being able to instantly recognize each other.

Related Reading: 17 Signs Of True Love From A Woman

• 72% used the term soulmate for their romantic partners
• 68% formed romantic relations, marriages, or intimate friendships
• Even the 32% who broke up, or did not develop regular relationships, see the connections as extraordinary life events, equal to bonding with their children

Key Pointers

• Does the one even exist? While we may not know the whole truth, there are several research pieces on soulmates that break myths and showcase how the idea of finding your soulmate influences the decisions in our love lives
• Psychological facts about soulmates indicate that the idea of soulmates can be limiting, and fear-evoking, and may become an issue when it comes to fulfilling relationships
• Other facts about soulmates include men believing more in soulmates than women, as age goes up, the belief goes down, yet the number of believers has only gone up
• Believe in soulmates or not, the work to make a relationship grow will always be there and without that, even your soulmate might not be the perfect partner
• The next-gen of dating partners is looking for a soulmate love story but without the toxic aspect, more of a penguin soulmate dynamic, if you will

It may feel like you’re the main character in a movie when you align yourself with the idea of finding a soulmate. It may be a peculiar feeling, fun and quite intense to look for the one that your soul is made for.

Related Reading: Karmic Relationships – How To Identify And How To Handle It

But it is exhausting at the same time because you’re more focused on finding the right one and often ignore the work required for two people to share a life. And more importantly, the fact that you’re supposed to take care of yourself first.

On the other hand, it can be quite freeing to give up on the idea of a soulmate entirely and instead work on the idea of building your relationship together so you guys become each other’s soulmate proactively. Maybe it really is just a misconception. There are no shortcuts at the end, soulmate or not, any healthy relationship requires work, patience, and effort for a long-lasting future.

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