Even when you know that a relationship is nearing its end, to keep yourself feeling warm and safe in your cocoon of security, you may be ignoring all break up signs and clinging onto dim rays of hope. A lot of times, relationships start falling apart in ways that you might not be able to correct.
Not every problem has a solution and not every relationship is worth holding on to. As much as one wants to believe the contrary, sometimes it is truly just better to let things go and walk away. It might sting in the initial days, but over time you will know you did the right thing.
Warning Signs It’s Time To Break Up
A relationship never encounters a sudden death that jumps out of the blue. Yes, a breakup feels sudden and ruthless as you tear yourself away from your partner and the habits surrounding him/her, but we often forego paying attention to the break up signs of an impending separation that is long due. Toxicity starts infusing in everyday communication and before you even notice it, you are stumped by the urgency to break up with your partner.
You can cushion the shock by paying a little attention to the cracks that might have started to show. Hopefully, this article can help you, but let me tell you, these can be issues that you thought you will resolve over time. These dating red flags I am about to list do not mean you need to hurry the process of breaking up, but acknowledge these as problems that could be killing your relationship. Whether you consider them signs you should break up or problems you want to work through is up to you. We only want to help you become a tad more self aware.
1. Problems with trust
“Have enough courage to trust love one more time and always one more time.”
― Maya Angelou
Trust is of paramount importance where any relationship’s foundation is concerned. Now, when I say trust in every relationship, I mean any emotional relationship you have with another person – friends, family and more. It is needless to say that this rule applies to your romantic partner as much as to other relations, if not more deeply.
When you catch yourself suspecting or victim to constant suspicion without reason, sit down and have a word with yourself. A relationship is not a chore, but a home created to ease your chore filled life. Also, constant suspicion could subconsciously indicate that you are looking for a reason to bring this to an end. Looking for apps to bust a cheater, or trying to find inconsistencies in his stories – all mean that you are preoccupied with him lying to you.
Check your thoughts, understand your intent: maybe the constant fights over his co-workers or her secretive relationship with her phone are trying to do more than emotionally exhaust you. One of the signs you should break up is when your lack of trust is causing you too much anxiety.
Of course, sometimes suspicion stems from your low self-esteem where you cannot find a reason for your partner to not betray you. Twisted as it sounds, it is still a toxic routine in your relationship. Even if in the past your partner has missed a step and warrants suspicion, remember you forgave him/her back then. If you have not forgiven or forgotten, then this might be a bad decision to nurture the poison and is one of the break up signs you cannot avoid.
2. Being unresponsive and aloof
Two people trying to keep their lives in sync will inadvertently cross rough patches. Confessions, arguments or just discussions are a necessary mode of communication. Even fights are unavoidable and sometimes help resolve a lot of emotional baggage.
But when you feel yourself or your partner becoming unresponsive towards these communication channels, know for sure there is something not right here. I do not imply that it is a contest of matching your passion with words, but when one of you is expressing yourself and the other shuffles out of the room, goes back to scrolling through his phone or makes a distracted comment about the weather, you are refusing to make an effort at sustaining your relationship.
One of the warning signs in a relationship that you simply cannot avoid is when you either of you decides to stop addressing the problems. A relationship is like a plant. You have to water it to make it grow out beautifully. But if any of you, couldn’t be bothered to do the same, your relationship sadly might just be on the rocks.
3. Nitpicking
(Disclaimer: Replace ‘he’ with ‘she’ according to your side of the story)
No, I don’t mean you have to always be sweet-talking him and praising him for with reason or not. But finding every bit of fault in him and correcting him at every step will not help and is one of the signs to break up. A relationship that is not one of equals is not going to sustain for long.
You constantly critiquing him only shows your contempt and things can become bitter very quick. But when the table is flipped you are at your defensive best. Your defense could grind him to dust as you tackle his arguments with your sharp tongue. But do you realize that all of this looks like you both are at war rather than creating a meaningful life together?
Honest criticism to an extent is okay to make a relationship flower and bloom. But when it turns into nagging, excessive relationship arguments, hurling abuses and only seeing the negative side of things – this is one of the signs you’re going to break up.
No relationship can survive in a war zone like environment where two people always have their guns out. Take our advice. Either call it a draw and retreat for good before things get worse, or talk things out before your relationship turns too sour.
4. Consider why you’re here
One of the break up signs itself is that you clicked on this post at all. Think about it, why are you actually here? The answer can be that you are here just to check out how crazy the Internet has gone today or reviewing your last relationship under these lights.
Or, you are reconsidering the life span of your relationship. You have had this conversation with yourself or maybe even with your partner. Are you looking for reasons to validate the decision that is building in your mind? Well my friend, the Internet cannot make that decision for you. You have to evaluate your own warning signs in a relationship at the end of the day.
Sit down with yourself and try to understand the crisis that your relationship is going through. Have a calm mature discussion with your partner and understand his viewpoint. Figure things out before the toxicity starts altering you as a person.
If you are really sure of the signs you’re going to break up, it might be time to gather some courage and walk right out. Sometimes, that really is the best thing.
