How to keep a conversation going with a girl isn’t really rocket science but it can really feel like it if you are the kind of person who overthinks every little thing and after hours of deliberation, you either come up with a plain old “hey” or “hello.” To get you out of your misery, we have come up with some clever ways you can tackle your difficulties.
We have tricks and tips up our sleeves that make for great conversation starters, engaging conversation topics, and light-hearted jokes that will help you avoid awkward silences. Hopefully, with the ideas listed out in this article for you, having a fun conversation with a girl won’t give you the jitters and might actually become a more enjoyable experience. We hope you find this article helpful.
How You Can Keep A Conversation Going With A Girl
There are simple tricks to make a woman chase you that don’t require you to stress out or become all anxious. We’ve all had that nervous conversation with a pretty girl. You know the one, in which you can’t help but think that she’s staring at that pimple that appeared out of nowhere last night.
So then, how to keep the conversation going with a girl when you’re clearly too nervous about what she is going to think of you? The answer is simple. The next time you meet a girl you really like and don’t want to fumble or make things awkward, you just have to keep things light and funny. You don’t have to talk about the universe or tell her how the human body works. Just a few questions like:
- What did you do today?
- How was work?
- Do you read?
- What’s your favorite movie?
- Who is your favorite Kar-Jenner sister? (Or basically any pop culture question that’s trending at the moment. Trust me, this works like a charm)
Chatting with girls is a whole different ball game. How to start a conversation with them might have you stressed out, but it doesn’t have to be as nerve-racking as people make it out to be. To make sure your next conversation is a more engaging one, take a look at the following 10 ways to keep a conversation going with a girl:
1. Don’t hey and pray — think of things to talk about with a girl
Meaning, don’t just send a boring “hey!” Whatsapp message to every woman you meet on Facebook and Instagram. Saying an astonishingly boring “hi” is going to fuel awkward silences and your bad day won’t get any worse than that. Instead, while looking to maintain a conversation with a girl and trying to find interesting ways to chat, start out by asking her about something she mentioned in the bio of the dating app or her Instagram profile. If there’s a common interest, start with that.
2. Don’t be too eager to impress
How to make small talk with a girl is not about letting words roll off your tongue non-stop. It’s not about showing off how wealthy you are and how many cars you own. Here’s what you can do instead. Once you’ve sent your opener that’s not just a boring “hey,” it’s now time to level up your game where you don’t brag about yourself.
Right now your aim is to take a deep breath and:
- Try to get her full attention
- Fill in the silent moments with talks about mutual interests, friends, work life, pets, and ambitions
- Mention topics that she likes to make her stay interested in the conversation
In your quest to impress this girl, you might just come off a tad creepy sometimes. We’d recommend not overdoing it with the puns about her name or better yet, avoid it altogether. Puns can very quickly go from receiving an “aww!” to an “okay, stop.” Knowing how to make a girl laugh will help, but don’t worry too much about it. Consider not double texting if you don’t receive a reply, especially if you two have just started talking. When you’re not too worried about impressing this girl, the performance anxiety will subside.
3. How to chat with a girl without being boring? Ask her about herself
To make the conversation flow in person and if you are texting her on Whatsapp, consider asking her interesting questions about herself that she can’t reply to with a simple yes or no. Instead of asking boring questions, ask open-ended questions like:
- Are you a beer person or a teetotaller?
- Do you enjoy camping or prefer visiting museums?
- Tell me your pet peeves
Bono tip: When you appear genuinely interested, she will enjoy talking about herself with you. It should also show you that she likes you enough to tell you about herself. That should get the ball rolling!
4. Be yourself, devoid of any pressure
How to keep a conversation going with a girl is not about faking it. It is about being able to reveal the best possible side of yourself to her. So when you’re wondering about ways to keep a conversation going with a girl, the answer is the same way you do it with anyone else. Here are some things you can try to be yourself:
- If you’re anxious or stressed while talking to her, try telling her that. It might endear you to her
- Consider her as just another person you happened to meet in your life
- Wear things that you’re comfortable with and that you make you feel happy; your discomfort will show and make you more nervous
- If you’re planning to meet somewhere, give her a list of places which you find calming and that are conducive to a peaceful conversation. She can select the one she likes the most
- The point is to make it a comfortable and familiar experience for yourself. You don’t have to be completely out of your comfort zone
When you’re not worried about trying to impress or not feeling the pressure to perform, you won’t try to make your conversation a theatrical performance. You’ll be more at ease, hence come off as inviting and confident, and be able to reveal the person you truly are. You should give some thought to how to fix any social anxiety you may have. If there’s one thing we’ve been told since the Stone Age, it’s that girls like a guy who’s confident. Now you know what to do!
5. How to hold a conversation with a girl? Be courteous
Every time anyone describes someone, chances are they’ll start with “s/he or they are nice!” Since this is one of the first things people notice about you and talk about to a third party, make sure you don’t come off as patronizing. You want her to think you are “nice” at the very least.
Bono tip: Wondering how to keep a conversation going with a girl? There won’t be one if you’re busy mansplaining or come off as a snob. Stray far away from any condescending tones or remarks. Being “nice” is pretty much a prerequisite if you want to maintain a conversation with anyone really, be it a love interest or the bartender who just won’t look your way.
6. Match her energy
How to chat with a girl without being boring? Try to match her energy and she will instantly gravitate toward you. Your body language must exude that you are interested in her. Mirror her body language. If she’s excited about something, show her you’re excited for her. When she is being empathetic, match her emotions, and your conversations will become that much more engaging.
7. Tell her about yourself a little
Once you are done asking cute questions to your crush, see if she is interested in getting to know you as well. If she’s genuinely interested in you, give information about yourself that will help her get to know you. Talk about what you have in common. Do make sure you tell her interesting things about yourself and the experiences you’ve had. Try to bring up fun and engaging stories to make her laugh or gasp. That’s our tip on how to keep a conversation going with a girl.
8. Have a random conversation with no ulterior motive
It doesn’t take a dating coach to tell you that it’s better to not stress too much about how to keep a convo going with a girl. Just talk about random things that come up instead. These random conversation topics can indeed be super fun. And they can lead to inside jokes as well. Furthermore, if the regular conversation topics aren’t enough to keep the girl talking, ask her something totally silly and make her feel like she can laugh her heart out when she is with you.
9. Bring up things she might want to talk about
Don’t form your own perspective and think that she’ll be interested in everything that you have to say. Don’t start off on a rant about your favorite sports team ruining your weekend by losing the match. That might not work unless she’s into that of course. Talk about the things she likes. Some other things to talk about with your crush include:
- If she loves watching movies, ask her what’s her favorite film and why it resonates with her so much (Subtly throw in the new movie that’s releasing next week and let her know you’d be more than happy to take her)
- Ask her about her childhood or any favorite memory from her childhood days
- If she says she loves traveling, ask her which country is next on her bucket list
10. Make vague plans with her
How to keep a convo going with a girl? Well, this one should do the trick. Making vague plans is saying something along the lines of “Yeah there’s this great coffee place I found, we should go there sometime!” when she mentions she likes coffee. It goes without saying that vague plans should be made once you have a decent enough connection with her. If she loves to talk to you, then she’ll say yes to that coffee date.
The benefit of this includes establishing that you’re interested in going out with her and seeing how she responds to it. You’ll get to know if she actually wants to follow up with those plans without you having to actually ask her out completely. It could eventually even lead to a fun conversation about what you two might do when you go there.
11. Don’t force the conversation
It takes time to build a connection with someone. That’s why when her body language begins to portray that she is uncomfortable, walk away instead of forcing a conversation to take place. It’s your biggest hint that she isn’t interested. No amount of interesting conversation starters on her favorite topics, compliments on what she’s wearing, and icebreakers are going to make your case.
12. Avoid asking personal questions
It doesn’t take a dating coach to tell you this but if you want to keep things light and interesting, then avoid asking personal questions. She’ll feel like she is being interrogated if you keep asking about her past relationships and things she is not comfortable sharing with anyone, let alone a guy she met on Facebook with. Steer clear from such questions and stick to pop culture questions and getting to know her for now.
13. How to keep the conversation going with a girl? Let your eyes do some talking
Learn how to flirt with your eyes. The eye contact game is essential to make her feel like you have eyes only for her. Some playful teasing with your eyes would do the trick more than words. You just have to know when to look at her and when to stop. If you can maintain eye contact for more than 3 seconds, then she is interested in having a conversation with you as well.
14. Try to compliment her
Whether you are having text conversations or talking to her in person, try to break the ice by complimenting her. Tell her the book she recommended is really interesting or you can try other compliments like:
- I like the way you talked passionately about the recent transphobic law
- You’re such a good listener
- I loved the story you wrote for the magazine
- You have a great dressing sense
15. Flirt naturally
You’re with this amazing girl at a coffee shop and you’re gonna miss this opportunity to flirt with her? Absolutely not. Flirting should be natural here. Don’t try to force it. Here are some things you can do to make it look organic:
- Keep smiling (not in a creepy way though)
- Know when to touch her (ONLY if she’s okay with that) and when to keep your hands to yourself
- Use some funny yet flirty conversation starters like “I suck at conversation starters. Do you want to try?”
- Mirror her body language
- Compliment her smile, tell her she’s beautiful
- Laugh if she is saying something funny
16. Don’t interrupt her when she’s speaking
Don’t interrupt anyone whom you’re trying to impress, ever. Regardless of whether or not it aligns with your opinions and judgment, don’t get into a low-key debate with her. Meet her at a middle ground and try to agree to disagree to keep the conversation interesting.
Bono tip: Give her your full attention, maintain eye contact if you can, and smile. This is how to keep the conversation going with a girl who you wouldn’t want to miss out on.
17. Smoothly transition to a different topic if she is losing interest
If you think she is getting bored with your high school stories, be smart to catch it. Don’t keep talking about one thing for a longer time period because there are chances of her losing interest in your silly stories. Once you see signs she has lost interest, don’t act embarrassed or drag it on until you’ve finished your story. Transition to another topic swiftly or regain momentum by changing the topic to something she is interested in.
18. You can also gossip a little with her
This is one of the easy ways to keep a girl interested. If you belong to the same friend circle or have mutual friends, then the two of you can gossip a little. Keep it non-toxic though. The reason we say that you can gossip is that when you are gossiping with someone, you foster a certain amount of trust with each other. It’s a great way to strengthen the bond.
19. Don’t make the conversation all about you
There is nothing more frustrating than listening to someone go on and on about their life. A conversation involves two people. If you keep talking about your friends and your work life, she is not wrong to get bored and lose interest. Keep it interesting by letting the discussion flow both ways.
20. Offer to buy her a drink or dinner
If you are at a coffee shop, restaurant, or at a bar, offer to buy her something. But don’t expect something in return, those are not the qualities of a good man. If she accepts the drink, beverage, food item, etc., then she might love to have a conversation with you. Take this as an opportunity to learn more about her and use it to your advantage. For example:
- She likes black coffee? So do you. Tell how you can’t do life without coffee and bond over the fact that you’re both coffee people
- She likes gin and tonic? Share an interesting story where you had G and T with friends and build the conversation from there
- Is she vegan? Tell her how much you appreciate the whole vegan lifestyle
Bono tip: Offer to pay for the meal. If she insists on splitting, then don’t try to act superior and just split the bill gracefully.
21. Notice more than just her appearance
Yes, she is beautiful. A hundred people must have told her that by now. But what will make a girl think about you? When you notice beyond her physical appearance. Listed below are some compliments that aren’t about her looks:
- I really like the way you think
- You’re very smart. I would like to pick your brain more on that AI thing
- You speak so well
- You really are an incredible painter
22. Send her a meme
How to keep the conversation going with a girl over text? Send her memes. Memes are the biggest thing on the internet at the moment. Not only do they make you laugh but they have become one of the love languages. When you see a meme that reminds you of her, send it to her along with the text: “This reminded me of you.” This will let her know that you think about her when she isn’t around.
23. Keep your phone away
There is nothing more annoying than talking to someone who is constantly checking their phone. It’s one of the biggest turn-offs ever. It doesn’t matter if the conversation isn’t on your favorite topic. You have to at least pretend you are listening instead of using the phone. Put your phone on silent and spend the evening getting to know each other.
24. Don’t reveal if you stalked her online
This is nothing to be ashamed of. We all do this before meeting someone for the first time. Just don’t overshare and confess that you stalked them online. Telling her that you know what dress she wore to her best friend’s wedding that happened in Hawaii is only going to make her feel uncomfortable. Just hold off on mentioning your cyberstalking skills for now.
25. Send her random text messages
How to keep the conversation going with a girl? Random good morning text messages will brighten her day. It will definitely put a smile on her face just as much as a good night text does. If you had a long conversation with her one day, then make sure you send a text within 24 hours. It could be anything random like:
- Hey. Hope you are having a good day
- I just happened to pass by the restaurant we were talking about the other day and I tried their crab. It’s exactly as delicious as you said it is
- I am free this weekend. Want to catch up?
This article was updated in January 2023.
