To be smitten with someone and not have them return your affection is one of the worst places to be in. When you find yourself in that situation, a better part of your time may be spent wondering how to get a guy’s attention. As hard as it may seem, it’s not impossible to make an impression on the guy you’re swooning over and leave a mark on his mind.
To be able to do that you need to rethink the whole “if it’s meant to be, it’ll work out” paradigm. Matters of the heart cannot always be left to destiny. Sometimes, you have to be your own Cupid and give that little nudge for things to work out exactly the way you want them to. Grabbing the attention of the guy you have your heart set on is the first step in that direction. Only when he notices you will he begin to see what a great person you’re and how lucky he’d be to have you in his life.
13 Proven Ways To Get A Guy’s Attention
To begin with, you need to put yourself on the guy’s radar without looking desperate. He needs to know that you exist for him to pay attention to you. Perhaps, trying to get his attention without talking to him would be a good starting point. Once you leave an impression on his mind from a distance, you can start building a bridge that connects you to him. Then, you need to find resonance with him.
Your appearance, words, actions, and behavior around him have to be such that they leave a lasting impression on the guy. Only when he catches himself unwittingly thinking about you can you say that you’ve got his attention for good. It helps if you can find some common ground and shared interest to build upon this initial hold you’ve established on his mind.
Once you’ve checked all of these boxes, you can move on to planning and making your next moves. We’re here to help on that front with these 13 proven tips on how to get a guy’s attention:
1. Catch his eye
So, you like a guy and want him to notice you before you approach him to strike up a conversation. But how do you get a guy’s attention without talking to him? Well, one of the simplest ways to catch his eye is to work on your appearance. If you’re heading out to a place where you know you’d run into this guy, put a little thought and effort into the way you dress.
Pick out an outfit that accentuates the right assets of your body, do your hair, and wear a premium fragrance. All of these elements will help create a distinct persona of you in his mind. Whenever he thinks of you, his mind will conjure up this desirable image. And just like that, you’ll have succeeded in being on his mind.
You may not have spoken to him or even exchanged pleasantries, but you will still be on his mind. That’s how powerful it can be to put your best foot forward with confidence. Getting his attention without talking to him becomes a walk in the park when you feel confident in your skin and exude a positive vibe.
2. Make eye contact
Sexual advances don’t come naturally to most women. Even if you’re burning with desire for a man, it’s hard to make a suggestive pass at him. But you don’t have to go as far as squeezing his butt or brushing the inside of his thigh. You can get a man’s attention sexually without making any physical contact with him whatsoever by simply looking into his eyes.
Hold his gaze, whether you’re in a conversation or just looking at each other from across the room. This simple gesture of flirting with your eyes will be enough to tell him that you’re interested without saying anything per se. The more intense your look, the higher the chances that he will think about you long after your rendezvous.
3. Be unique to get a guy’s attention on Instagram
Want to get a guy’s attention on Instagram or whatever other social media platform you prefer? You have to learn to stand out from the crowd to make a guy text you. With everyone posting too many selfies that are almost near-identical, using filters and effects that have been done to death, it’s hard to tell one apart from the other. If you’re too caught up with trends, your guy may scroll through your posts and stories without them even registering in his mind.
The best way to make him pause for a second is to be unique. Let your Instagram (or Twitter, Facebooked, Snapchat) posts and stories reflect who you are. Marsha had an intense crush on a guy at her gym. Even though they’d talk sometimes post work-out and even followed each other on Instagram, things weren’t moving along as she’d hoped. “How to get his attention on social media?” Marsha wondered.
Then, it struck her, their shared passion was fitness. So why not capitalize on that? She started posting stories about her workout routines and food habits. Videos of her pumping iron, reels showing her holding that 90-sec plank to perfection, and photos of smoothies and salads. Sure enough, he started sending heart reactions to her posts within a few days, and eventually, slid into her DMs.
4. Befriend him on social media to get a guy’s attention online
Are you mere acquaintances who share cordial greetings as you walk past each other and get on with your lives? Is the guy whose attention you’re coveting a perfect stranger? Or someone you connected with on a dating site? It can be nerve-racking to decipher the tricks to get a guy’s attention in such situations. The answer is simple – you start by trying to get a guy’s attention online. Befriending him on social media is the first order of business.
Once he accepts your request, pay attention to what his Facebook or Instagram tells you about him. Invest a little time and effort in making yourself ‘seen’ by proactively engaging with his posts. React to his stories and posts, leave comments, and share or retweet his posts. But don’t overdo it or you risk coming across as a potential stalker. To get his attention on social media, it’s just as important to show him that his posts resonate with you as it is to make sure yours strike a chord with him.
5. Keep a positive outlook to get a man’s attention back
Are you trying to get a man’s attention back after having it lost once or perhaps more than once? We’re not going to lie. Getting a man to give you attention and importance after he has already crashed and burned doing the same thing in the past can be twice as hard. A positive outlook can go a long way in turning the tide in your favor. If there is some bad blood between you both on account of something you have done, do your best to let him know that you’re making amends.
Steer clear of negativity such as making snide remarks or bad-mouthing him in front of your friends just for the sake of getting his attention and getting him to talk to you again. In all likelihood, such actions will only push him further away from you. Impress him with your natural joie de vivre and positive energy. Let the guy see that he is missing out on a lot every day he spends without you.
6. Be confident to snatch the attention of a guy
It’s no secret that having a crush on someone has a way of turning the most confident people into nervous wrecks. That’s why you must make a conscious effort to not be too in over your head. If there is one thing that can attract a man instantly, it is a confident woman. When he notices the things that set you apart from the crowd, you’ll have his attention in no time.
Let’s say, you’re trying to figure out how to get his attention in high school when he is the most popular boy who has girls swooning over him, and you, by comparison, feel like an average Jane. Begin by reminding yourself that there is nothing average about you. You’re a unique snowflake in every sense of the word. Here’s what you can do:
- Whenever you’re in his company, channel your self-confidence through your body language, gestures, and words
- No fidgeting, no stuttering or rambling, no awkward gestures
- Let your stance be open and forthcoming, your body relaxed and your words poised to make a favorable impression on him
- Figure out what it is that makes you YOU, and then use it to work your charm on the guy you’re crushing over. For instance, if you’re a great singer, sign up at an event or club and let your talent shine through
The more intense your look, the higher the chances that he will think about you long after your rendezvous. There are plenty of subtle techniques that drive men wild with desire. In this quick tutorial video, you will learn three subtle and powerful techniques that grab a man’s attention.
7. Speak your mind to get a guy’s attention on text
Texting can be a great way to take things forward with someone you have the hots for. You can avoid the whole nervous awkwardness that you experience when you’re around him and yet be in touch. But texting can be a double-edged sword. It can also make conversations ambiguous and open to interpretation, as the other person doesn’t get the whole context of your words without gestures and the tone of your voice.
The conversations can become even more stunted if you’re used to talking in emojis. To make sure things progress in the desired direction, you need to speak your mind. Don’t hold back on what you really want to say out of fear of being judged or misunderstood. By being open and forthcoming you can get a guy’s attention on text. And perhaps, even seduce him with your messages.
8. Make him laugh
Laughter is a surefire way to build and strengthen your connection with another person, irrespective of your equation with them. Why not use it to get a guy’s attention online or IRL! From cheesy one-liners to knock-knock jokes, funny anecdotes, or your own brand of humor, there are just so many ways to be silly, goofy, and hilarious and make a guy laugh. You don’t necessarily have to have him in splits every time.
Even if you can make him chuckle or bring a smile to his face, know that you will stay on his mind for all the right reasons. Besides, laughter is a great way to break the ice and cut the awkwardness you may feel when interacting with a guy you’re crushing on. Use humor to establish a rapport with him, and you’ll find all the right ways to bowl him over.
9. Find common interests
If you’re trying to get a man’s attention back or catch a guy’s attention at work, finding common interests and shared ground is your best bet. Since you already know this man, you probably already know his likes and dislikes well. All that’s left for you to do is build upon this knowledge to let him see how much you have in common.
However, don’t fake it or pretend to like the things he does just to get his attention. If and when things progress between you two, your charade will fall like a house of cards and that will leave you both hurt. But if you genuinely like or dislike the same things as him, let him see it as plain as a pikestaff.
10. Flirt to get a guy’s attention
Are you trying to get a man’s attention sexually? Or at least entertaining the thought of making a move on him? Well, don’t hold back. There is no reason why you have to sit around and wait for the guy to pursue you. By self-admission, guys love the idea of a girl making a move on them.
So, bring on your flirting A-game if you want to get a guy’s attention and sustain it. Use your words, eyes, lips, and body language to get your intent across to him. Fair warning, don’t get too physical or come on to him in an obvious sort of way when you are still at the “Did he just smile at me?” phase. Any inappropriate move can chase him away and ruin your chances with him. Keep it decent and a bit playful and things will work out just fine!
11. Make physical contact
If you sense that your healthy flirting game is being well-received by the object of your affection, take things a notch higher by graduating to subtle, fleeting moments of physical contact. A slight tap on the hand, a light brush of the fingers against his face or hair, or perhaps placing your hand on his shoulder as he says something to make you laugh.
These actions can leave a lingering sweet aftertaste, making your guy think of you a lot more than usual. When you run out of the right things to say or find yourself tongue-tied in his presence, physical contact can be a great way to get his attention without talking to him. After all, he won’t mind the awkward silence if he feels the warmth of your hand on top of his.
12. Engage him in conversation
Whether you’re trying to get a guy’s attention on text or in person, engaging him in conversation always hits the nail on its head. Ask your crush the right question to get to know him better. From questions about his childhood to his future plans, likes, dislikes, passions, and values, there is no dearth of topics you can bring up to keep the conversation flowing. By showing him that you’re invested in getting to know him better, you can truly make a mark on his mind.
13. Don’t act desperate
The only and most important cardinal rule to get a man’s attention when he ignores you is not to act desperate. Don’t stalk him, send him drunk texts, or call him in the middle of the night. All of these actions will only push him further away from you. Besides, you shouldn’t put your life on hold for someone who has been ignoring your overtures or make getting his attention the sole focus of your life.
Instead, learn to strike a balance between making efforts to get him to notice you and keeping your life going. Have fun with your friends, go out on dates with other potential interests, and focus on work and hobbies, so that this guy doesn’t turn into a single-minded obsession.
3 Mistakes To avoid when trying to get a guy’s attention
So, you’ve been working hard at getting a guy’s attention at work but haven’t made much headway. It’s a good idea to introspect and see if you’re doing something wrong. For instance, if you get all flirty without being absolutely sure that a coworker truly likes you back, your moves can backfire, and how! Instead of a coffee date you’ve been dreaming of, you may land yourself an interview with HR. Yikes!
We don’t want that to happen to you. That’s why, we’re here with a roundup of mistakes to avoid while trying to get a guy’s attention, lest you get consigned to the friend zone forever, or worse, get blocked out of his life, virtual and real.
1. Don’t play hard to get
Just because a guy is starting to show the slightest of interest in you, doesn’t mean the game is won. There’s a lot more effort to be put in. You haven’t even got to the part of getting to know each other yet. So, if he is giving you his attention and trying to strike up a conversation, the mature thing to do is to indulge in him. A lack of effort on your part at this stage can make all the effort you’ve put in so far go down the drain.
2. Steer clear of any childish games
You should be clear about your objective from the get-go – you are trying to get his attention, not make him jealous. Parading a string of dates in front of him won’t get you the result you’ve been hoping for. For all you know, he may feel repulsed rather than jealous. Or he may see you as taken and move on. If you want to seal a date with him, be genuine. Do everything in your power to make him see that he is important to you (without looking desperate, duh!).
3. Don’t overthink it
“He said he likes my dress. Does it mean he is finally into me?” “He sent me a heart emoji. Is it too soon to reply with a kissy face?” We understand it’s a mix of excitement and nervousness. And it’s very easy to get caught up in overanalyzing what to say or how to react when the person you’re crushing on finally gives you hi. But why put yourself through the torment of overthinking every little detail? If it’s supposed to happen, it will happen spontaneously. You don’t /shouldn’t have to put your life on hold and make him the center of your world to win him over.
Key Pointers
- Making eye contact is an absolutely romantic way of catching a guy’s attention
- Try to stand out in your social media presence and connect with them over common interests
- Remember, nothing’s more attractive than a woman confident in her own skin
- Be a little vulnerable and open up your heart to him to get his attention
- A little flirting and affectionate physical contact can go a long way
- Show interest in his life and get to know him better
How to get a guy’s attention? It’s all about making the right efforts consistently and carefully avoiding the mistakes that can get you friendzoned. It certainly won’t happen overnight. But if you keep at it, he will notice you sooner or later. Until then, do your best to go about your life as normally as possible.
The article was originally published in 2021 and has been updated in 2022.
