Plus lots of solutions on how to deal with the situation
Are you doubting if your beau loves you? He has done and said things that make you question his feelings. Now you are left looking for signs that he merely pretends to love you. In this article, I will walk you through the 9 major signs that someone only pretends to love you.
Painful as it might be, it is important that you find answers.
1. His words and actions don’t line up
The biggest sign that your boyfriend pretends to love you is that he says one thing but does another. He might tell you that he loves you, but in daily life, he doesn’t make you a priority. He doesn’t act as if he loves you.
The truth is that our actions are a reflection of our true feelings. Talking is easy, but following through takes real love and dedication. When in doubt, trust someone’s actions, not their words.
He makes empty promises
Maybe he tells you that he is going to spend more time with you or become a better listener or take you on that holiday you wish for. But if the reality is that he is absent, you have to trust the reality.
Ask yourself if you would want to continue the relationship if nothing has changed a year from now?
Sometimes we stay in a relationship in the hopes of what that relationship could be. When you ask for signs that he pretends to love you, take stock of what is happening on a practical level. You will have your answer.
2. He doesn’t make plans for the future
So you are dating this great guy and everything is nice when the two of you spend time together. He absolutely seems to enjoy your company. But he never talks about the future and when he does, you don’t seem to be included. This is one of the major signs that he only pretends to love you.
This is also a sign of an emotionally unavailable man, read this article “10 signs of an emotionally unavailable man,” to better understand this phenomenon. He might love you, but just be afraid.
He doesn’t plan the next date
There are many different ways he can fail to include you in his future. Maybe you are always the one reaching out and making plans for both of you?
If this is the case, he is not as invested in the relationship as you might want him to be.
The way to find out where his heart is at is to stop making plans and see if he is picking up the initiative.
He doesn’t take the relationship to the next level
There are many ways healthy relationships progress; you get introduced to his friends and eventually to his parents. You might get a key to his apartment.
If he is never taking any of these crucial steps towards progressing your relationship, this is unfortunately a bit of a bad sign. If you want to find out where he stands, just ask him. Guys are usually surprisingly honest.
3. He keeps the relationship a secret
There are many ways he can diminish the importance of your relationship. Maybe he is not clearly showing that you are his girlfriend when you are out together. Maybe he fails to introduce you to friends and family.
By now I should probably make the caveat that many men like to take things slow. Nothing wrong with this. You should give him the time and space you are comfortable with. To rush into a relationship and declare your love everywhere is often a signpost of toxic relationship.
Are the relationship progressing?
There should be a healthy balance. But if you in your gut are worried that he is keeping your relationship a secret, that is a worrying sign.
You should feel that the relationship is progressing. If you want to try and work on the relationship, check out my article “How to Connect with an Emotionally Unavailable Man,” you will learn a lot.
4. He doesn’t include you in his social media posts
Once again, many guys are slow to do this. But if he actively avoids being associated with you on all different social media platforms, that is indeed one of the signs he only pretends to love you.
It also depends on how long your relationship has been going on. After a couple of months, he should be ready to make things official, especially if he has told you that he loves you.
5. You don’t trust him
If you feel doubt and insecurity in the pit of your stomach, you should trust those feelings. Our natural instinct often tells us when something is wrong.
Are you always worried when you don’t hear from him or when he is going out with his boys? Do you keep checking your phone, waiting for reassurance from him?
6. He always wants things from you, but seldom gives back
You might also have asked yourself why he would pretend to love you? What does he get out of it?
There are probably many instances when you come in handy. He might simply want that nice reassuring feeling that someone loves him and someone is there for him. He needs you, on some level, otherwise, he wouldn’t stick around.
Do you want him to love you? If that is the case read my article How to make someone fall in love with you. People change and relationship changes as well. He obviously sees a lot in you.
7. He has low confidence
This sign should be fairly easy to spot. Does he often compare himself with other people? Is he overly attached to appearing to be successful? A person with low self-esteem cares a lot about surface-level things.
He might also need a lot of compliments and support from you. A person with low self-esteem is also quick to blame all of his shortcomings on something else. If he fails with something, is it always someone else’s fault?
Ironically, people with low self-esteem are usually very likable, especially in the beginning. The reason for this is that they work hard towards being liked. So don’t beat yourself up for liking him. He made you do it
